Write For US!
Andrew Christian
3/24/14

A note to West Hollywood Adult Recreation





Also known as W.A.R.—perhaps a better title—last weekend’s Humans vs. Zombies extreme tag competition managed to provide recreation for only a few, and from the look of things hardly managed to be adult. In fact, it seemed more like the adolescent happenings of a middle school gym class.  

Allow me to explain: hanging out at Gym Bar last Saturday evening, I noticed a guy sitting alone in his Humans vs. Zombies shirt, away from the gaggle of buzzed gays in similar dress. When I asked him why he sat alone, his response appalled me.

Said player—who will, like everyone else in this posting, remain anonymous—said he really hoped to meet some new friends or at least have a good time doing something new on a beautiful day. When he arrived for the game, he thought he’d done something wrong. Nobody introduced themselves, nobody asked his name, and apparently when he tried to introduce himself to others, everyone ignored him. As the facilitators explained the rules, making reference to non-present members of the West Hollywood Dodgeball League by first names, he said he wondered if he’d signed up for some closed event by mistake. Everyone there seemed to already be on a dodgeball team and know one another already. Nobody, he said, welcomed him to the game or made any outgoing effort to at least meet him; rather the other players seemed preoccupied with cutting up their new t-shirts into a more sexually suggestive style.

I glanced over at the other players in Gym Bar. The guy was right: he seemed to be the one of the few wearing an unaltered shirt, while the other players sported slutty hacked-up tees which exposed most of their upper bodies. My new friend told me he’d expected some flirtation, but since he wasn’t on the market, he’d just hoped for a fun afternoon and some cool new people. I asked if he enjoyed himself at all. He told me he thought he should have, that the game was original if disorganized, but also mentioned that one of the other teams only scored a few points, while the other two had almost hit thirty each. He thought, at one point, that he was playing existing teams since the players seemed grouped ahead of time, rather than organized there.

I asked him again if he knew for sure that the event was open to the public, or if maybe he had crashed some party. No, he explained, he did ask the facilitator who assured him that the game was open to everyone. Afterword, he’d hoped to make friends at the Gym Bar after party, figuring the other players might just have a strong notion of competition, and following the game might act more sociable. As I looked at him, forlorn and tired, I could tell that had not happened. He left shortly after our conversation without anyone seeming to notice…except me.

Now, perhaps my new friend had done something rude, maybe he was a complete jerk, maybe he offended the other players. I can only say he didn’t seem rude to me. Given that nobody there seemed to notice him or make any kind of effort, I’m inclined to believe his story. Everything I witnessed on Saturday afternoon lent credence to his story. What is it about this cult like, elitist group that makes them so brazen as to think they can behave like cliquish juveniles? Is it because they play kiddie “sports” more akin to the sixth grade than the major leagues? Or are they just overgrown children themselves who have forgotten what it’s like to be ostracized and bullied?

The reason for having a community recreation league is to have fun with friends, yes, but it is also to foster the community. That’s especially important in a city like West Hollywood, which was founded on the idea of inclusion, of offering refuge to people of all ages, shapes, genders, races and sizes. The community must have an attitude of inclusion and welcoming for more than 20-something men who spend most of their time in a gym or on Grindr. Understand, I’m not blaming the city or population of West Hollywood as a whole, but I would point out that a community recreational organization should make socializing and inclusion priorities. After all, working as a team, making friends and having a good time are the very precepts of sportsmanship. Of late, it seems more like a bad retread of Mean Girls than any kind of recreational league I know.  

As a member of the community, I’m embarrassed. As a casual observer, I’m appalled. Despite what the title says, nobody at West Hollywood Adult Recreation seems to act very adult, and the group certainly doesn’t seem like much fun.

Anon.

27 comments:

  1. Blame Murray Swanby! He started the whole mean girls thing in Dodge Ball before he left to become a model.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This must be on of those 'reverse psychology' posts.

      "slutty hacked-up tees" ???

      You wish.

      Delete
  2. I went and made a few friends. going to a new place and trying to make new friends is ballsy but unfortunately doesn't always result in a new instant group of friends. so sure let's focus on the on guy who didn't make friends rather than the many others that did.

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  3. How about real sports with real athletes and not recreational bullshit.

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  4. Really? Posting this plea right above the 567th "How Does This Guy Pay His Rent" post, yet another Woody Woodbeck insult post, and a post threatening to have someone deported?

    Dodgeball should really take some lessons from the gay safe haven that is WeHoConfidential.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well said!!!!!! Bravo!!!!! This website is awful and has contradictory standards.

      Delete
  5. At least 30 people have passwords to WeHo Confidential. We all have our own positions on various issues. Not all of us are Democrats, not all of us post about locals & none of us are told what to write about it. We each have our own opinions as individuals & that's how we function. Some of us are against illegal immigrants. Some of us would like to know what you do for living aka how do you pay your rent? The fact that asking a question is upsetting to you is mind boggling. Illegal immigrants & and fraudulent marriages are still.... ILLEGAL!!!! And if you comment on the site you're just as guilty as the bloggers if there was any guilt in the first place, which I don't believe there is.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. P.U.R.E. B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.!!!

      get a fucking life already. are you mentally retarded? why would you give out the password to a blog when you can easily create accounts for those people individually. you're a fucking liar and piece of human shit.

      I'm praying this Easter that Jesus infects you and your buddies with Spinal Meningitis!

      Delete
  6. How about this "adult" trying to meet new people grow some balls and go up and introduce themselves at an event. That's what adults do. Babies wait around for someone to come up to them and then whine when nothing happens. #YoureDoingItWrong.

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  7. Why does it come to a shock to anyone that a very large percentage of gay men behave like children? The fact is that a very large percentage of gay men were abused and bullied so many are stuck in this childlike stage for life. The very fact that Men in their 30s, 40s and beyond are playing in DODGEBALL and KICKBALL leagues speaks for itself, it ain't rocket science. Ditto for "Sunday Fundays" when WeHo gays dress all "cute", talk about how cute they are, and get hammered while critiquing everyone else's clothes, car, etc. Why does Perez Hilton do what he used to do? because he felt excluded for so long and is now exacting his revenge that he feel is justified. same goes for the gay casting directors who try to sleep with actors, but tell them if they're gay to stay in the closet or they won't hire them. same goes for the people who run this site. Victimized, ostracized men who never learned how to socialize properly and now are acting like the victimizer, victimizer..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Much of what you said is 100% true. Unfortunately, people who get bullied and ostracized when they're young often become bullies and clique-ish as adults. Since so many gay kids are, to some extent, verbally or physically abused as kids - and since WeHo has such a high concentration of gay adults - well yeah, we've all seen it - the guys in this town can be fucking vicious to those they deem unworthy.

      As for those slamming this WeHo Confidential article for being skewed or hypocritical… perhaps that's true. But I for one was really heartened to read it, and to see it here of all places. Whomever wrote this article seems like a really sensitive and caring human being; and if it was written with genuine concern and no ulterior motive, then at the very least, this writer should be proud of him/herself. This is the type of person we want in our community - and I am grateful that they do exist.

      However, if this article was written merely to trash that dodgeball league? Then I take back what I said above! hahaha
      (Even though I do personally believe that league is a snakepit of mean girls, social climbers and whores :)

      Delete
  8. I can only speak from Varisty Gay League experience, but as the league has grown it has definitely become more clique-y.

    Will Hackner, the league owner/manager, definitely promotes that mentality, I believe unconsciously (to give him the benefit of the doubt). He's one of the most passive aggressive bullies I've ever encountered.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. VGL is still okay because of its size and diversity. Will and his minions are definitely cliquey but they only make up around 10% of any given league.

      But Dodgeball is the problem. They've empowered the bullied to become the bullies. I'm sure that wasn't the goal of its founder, but that's what has happened. It would do the gay community a service at this point to dismantle and ban dodgeball. Get those former misfits off their high horse and back to reality.

      Delete
    2. Yeah! Let's keep the misfits in their place. How dare they act better than they should.
      This is exactly the problem. People anonymously posting about people on their high horses and claiming they aren't the bully now themselves. These posts and the people behind them and this website are the only ones bullying anyone here.
      Anyone notice that there were about 50 other people there that didn't feel left out? Or does that not matter?

      Delete
    3. "Ban dodgeball" - ???! That is some hilarious thinking, right there! So evocative of 'Flashdance.' Maybe we could even have a taskforce patrolling WeHo 24/7, looking for people playing that evil game. Come to think of it, I believe there are parts of the Bible which specifically condemn the playing of dodgeball and four-square...

      Delete
  9. I cannot believe I am responding to a WeHo Confidential post, but here goes...

    (1) The organizer of these activities - and of dodgeball - while really in possession of the best possible intentions, is a pretty sick individual. He has the West Hollywood gym on fiat from certain counsel members, which would imply his organization is at least quasi-public in nature. And, yet. And, yet, he summarily excludes people from his organization and not only engages in, but facilitates divisive gossip that tears at the community. Not sure why the City just does not run this activity on its own - candidates for office I am sure will be surprised at the revelations of what they endorse. In any event, while I am sure the indians here could be blamed, the chief is poison.

    (2) There are activities in West Hollywood that are far more inclusive. While the V.G.L. operator certainly has his own noxious issues, a lack of inclusion is not one of them. Any of those events - and I think there is some Easter egg thing on the horizon - will expose the subject of this story to people who, I imagine, will be far more welcoming.

    (3) While the subject could be blamed for not being more proactive, when a group makes it known you are not welcome, there is only so much that you can do. Again, I am sure a lot of these guys know each other and it was not intentional exclusion, but, again, there are far better activities to be explored in the community.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, you are right, Will at VGL does make you feel included because you are just dollar signs to him.

      Delete
  10. Dude, I don't think whoever wrote this or even the guy they wrote it about wants to ban dodgeball, I think that the author is just pointing out what they see as a problem. Snobbery is nothing new, but for a city and organization open to all, West Hollywood does not act as good as it's reputation. Maybe the guy was a dick, maybe he's a creep but who knows? He doesn't sound like one. he sounds just like a loney guy. Besides he didn't even write this, how is he a hypocrite? Its a fucking dodge ball team. People should make friends there not get treated like this.

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  11. Jake Mason and the man-children of dodgeball are intolerable. They play aggressively (even violently), argue amongst themselves and gossip nonstop, yet insist they're "family." #dodgeballisfamily #goodriddance #badrubbish

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    Replies
    1. Names? More names.

      Delete
    2. You've clearly never actually met Jake Mason or played dodgeball.

      Delete
    3. Actually I've played since 2012...

      Delete
  12. I came into dodgeball not knowing anyone, which was hard in the beginning, yes. Like anything, it starts with meeting one or two people and it grows from there. I've really only been around for 3.5 seasons but I've definitely made some awesome new friends! Winning is good and all, but for me it's more about the social aspect. Some (a minority) of the people are cliquey, but neither Jake nor any of the other league administrators have ever done me wrong. And it's not about how attractive you are - take it from me LOL. If you're on the outside looking in, you really can't judge the WeHo Dodgeball community. It really is just like any other community.

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  13. This seems pretty genuine to me. Its not mean spirited. If this guy (girl?) Wanted to attack the DB team I think there'd be more venom. I know people that play in the league and they're all cool, but even they talk about how cliuqey the whole thing has become. I've witnessed this at a few of otherr after party drinksfeasts. It is sad and pathetic. The whole point of these leagues is to make friends & have fun right?

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  14. I joined Dodgeball hoping to meet new people. Everyone already knew each other. It was so so so cliquey. If you're a shy person showing up without already knowing people, it was not the most welcoming place. The leader guy Jake seems well intentioned but it's kind of an exclusionary popular kids vibe and I dropped out eventually.

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  15. I really like that this post was written. But what the author doesn't seem to realize is that this is the spirit of West Hollywood in general. It's not out of the ordinary in the least! If you're not a hottie or a regular who knows everybody, you're treated like shit, if you're even acknowledged at all. I don't know who wrote this particular post, but Lucas is CERTAINLY guilty of that behavior, to say the least. Much of this blog reeks of that "insiders/hotties only" attitude. It's a real shame that people feel the need to behave this way. And I could never see myself joining Dodgeball if it's just an extension of that spirit. You're totally right in calling them out for this, but why don't the authors and the readers of this blog also try to eradicate this attitude everywhere else, too?

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  16. You stupid silly foolish delusional queens. THERE IS NO COMMUNITY! The 'people' in West Hollywood act like assholes because it's encouraged and promoted. Why do you think people from other cities DESPISE LA?! And you two pieces of human trash are some of the biggest assholes there are!!

    How you shit piles have the nerve to post this is just beyond ridiculous. Probably some form of meth induced psychosis.

    ReplyDelete

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