Local Mugged by Dave Chappelle Look-Alike; LAPD Victimizes Victim

Local Mugged by Dave Chappelle Look-Alike; LAPD Victimizes Victim A local dodgeball player was chased down and mugged late Saturday night as he walked home from a night out with friends.

The victim, Jared, was walking on Melrose near Crescent Heights when he realized that he was being followed by a tall, lanky black man, wearing all black, who resembled Dave Chappelle. The guy began to heckle Jared and yelled at him to stop, so Jared pulled out his phone to dial 911 and began to run. The stalker overtook Jared, pushed him to the ground, grabbed his phone and took off.

Jared was able to flag down a passing motorist, who called the police. Since the attack occurred in the area just south of WeHo, LAPD responded to the call. In Jared's words, "The police acted like this was the 7th million time they had heard this story or something." LAPD cavalierly circled the block looking for the assailant but didn't find him.

Concerned about his stolen phone and hoping that maybe it would be easily found, Jared asked the cops if they would walk with him to where he was attacked and help him look for his phone with their flashlights, in the event that the attacker had dropped it as he fled. The ever so helpful LAPD refused Jared's request. In all, the entire experience with the LAPD left Jared feeling disenfranchised.

Jared mentioned that the scariest part was "literally being chased down," and that he would "have nightmares about that."

A source within the LAPD Wilshire Division confidentially reported that there have been numerous phone snatches in that area, all by a similar suspect. The attacker is described as a younger black man, over 6 feet tall, thin, shaved head, and wearing all black. Jared characterized him as "a tweaker kind of guy, but not smelly and homeless." The incident occurred around 2:00 AM Saturday night/Sunday morning. Anyone with information related to this case should call LAPD Wilshire Division at (213) 473-0476. The Lesson: Look up, look alert, and carry pepper spray.



  1. There is people being rapped and beat up. We don't care about a little rich boy that is flaunting his phone at wee hours of the morning.

  2. awww ......queens always pretend thier phone can save themmm...haha!!
    they act like there fone is a gun...honey ur fone cant save you!!
    i walk by queens and they pick up the fone to avoid me.....yur fone obvi cant do a THING for ya! ask jared!

  3. weho queen who owns a gun!May 28, 2013 at 9:00 PM

    Jared, everyone is laughing right now IN YOUR FACE! Picking up the phone when some Nigger is chasing after you as IF he was going to stop with you holding an old ass apple 4! Jared I saw your phone at The Abbey you were waving it around when waving to people who hate you as if it was Solid Gold!! Baby you are just too retarded for words. Now you have no phone- not even an old one!! I would have ran as fast as I could. But no I dont need to do that I have a brand new BMW that I would have RAN that black skinned Nigger over. Butt sorry you cant do that as you are tired and have that old Honda Accord still.
    Now Jared, cryong wold to the police in the Wilcox staion over there did NOT help now did it?
    The only thing you helped was the economy!!
    Your old phone is now foe sale onCraigslist!!
    And apple will make some more money off you cause you are a dumb queen yes ye sJared you are!
    You should have a site called "just dumb Jared"
    Why is Jared dumb?
    Well, a Nigger was chasing jared and he stood tere and waved his phone around as if it could do sumin!

    dumb dumb dumBBBBB Jared!!

    Jared thank you for the laughs!!

    We the queens of weho are laughing at YOU and your Facebook Page and your Grinder account.

    Jared, at this point I DONT know whats more funny to look at - YOU- or that drag queen MOMMA who stands at the abbey in full drag on any given holiday just to get stared at as a CLOWN!

    Jared , why are YOU such an idiot? Why? Can you tell me?

    Your mothers prbabyly laughing at THIS whole story!!!

    The wilcox division does NOT care darlim!!!
    Hey WEHO_ bring OUT the viloins for Jared!!!
    Jared Im a regstered gun owner to hold a concealed weapon. Any one that would try to steal my gun- will meeet THIER maker. I am not 1/2 as dumb as you are!!!

    Did you say BYE BYE your old apple 4? If not do it now cause its GONE!

    WEho Queen Who OWNS a GUN!

    1. Remember when this EXACT scenario happened to Carrie Bradshaw? But seriously though, I feel bad for anyone who's mugged but he's handled this very poorly:

      1) What did he expect 911 to do? If you're going to live alone in the big city (and walk around alone at night) you have to be prepared to handle yourself in situations like this. Remain calm and don't risk your life over valuables!

      2) What did he expect the police to do about a mugging in a city of 8 million people? He expected them to walk the block looking for his damn CELL PHONE?! LMAO, if i asked my best friend to do that he'd be like "...that phone is long gone, give it up boo. i'll drive you to the verizon store."

      Long story short i'm sorry that you got mugged but creating all this attention doesn't make the LAPD look bad, it just makes you look spoiled and naive.

  4. Is that a lesbian?


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