My little sister wrote about my coming out story for her college class as one of her most life changing events.... so so touched.
Throughout my life I have had many drastic occasions happen in my family. The one im going to talk about today certainly affected me the most. While growing up, my brother and I were extremely close. As a young child we found many flaws in each other and became best friends. I found that my brother wasn’t like the ordinary type of little boy. He absolutely adored hanging out with my girl friends and I, and would enjoy playing all the girly games like dress up and playing with dolls. I will never forget the time when my older sister dressed my brother koby, up in a light pink princess dress and asked him what he wanted to be when he grew up. His response was “I want to be a ballerina”. That moment was when I started questioning a few things.
While growing older, my brother started becoming very unsocial and never wanted to hangout with me anymore. People hit a certain stage in their life, and for koby, this stage began in middle school. I never really saw my brother around anymore. He wouldn’t join the family for dinner, and would go up to his room with food and lock himself in his bedroom for the night. I felt like there was something wrong with Koby, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Every night he would sit in his bed and draw whatever came to mind. Koby had one special feature about him , which was his artistic ability. It was almost like he just needed some where to express his emotions, which were expressed in his artwork. My brothers artwork was unreal, he put so much detail into his work and made sure it was to the best of his ability. Koby later on won an award for the best artist at his school. I started thinking, maybe there is nothing wrong with him after all.
While still in middle school, my brother had no friends. Whenever Koby and I would argue, he would always call me fat, and I would tell him he had no friends. Every time I would say that, I could tell it emotionally hurt him. Soon Koby startd a new chapter in his life, which was his first year of high school. Things began to change and turn around for the better. Koby started bringing people to our house and becoming more social. One of the great aspects my brother had was that he accepted people for who they were and did not judge them. Some of the people he brought home made me very suspicious. One of his friends wore a wig, and others were just very weird. As soon as my brother realized he was gaining friends, he never spoke to me. It was like I was a complete stranger to him. Everything about him started changing, for example, his mood and clothing style. He would take hours getting ready before school and started wearing sluggish clothes.
When I became a freshman at Pope High School my brother, at that time, was a senior. Sooner or later I started hearing rumors about Koby . Everytime I heard a rumor, it was like as if the rumor was about me. When someone were to say something bad about my brother, anger and frustration would fill my blood stream. I would hear rumors being spread that my brother was confused about his gender preferences. I didn’t know if people were saying this about him as a joke, or if it was true. One school day, right before dismissal, a boy in my class came up to me and said, “Hey Lexie, do you know your brother was gay?” I told him to shut up repeatedly and even used profanity. I became very curious as to why those specific types of rumors were being spread. The second the bell rang for dismissal I ran on the bus waiting to get home to talk to my mom about what that boy said to me at school. The bus ride was the most dreadful ride. I was constantly glancing at my phone every second just impatiently waiting to arrive at my house. By the time I got to my house, my brother arrived at approxiamelty the same time. My mom, brother, and I were all in my kitchen when I started discussing what that boy had said to me. My voice was shaking as I asked my brother if he was bisexual or gay. That very moment, my mom and brother were in shock and disbelief about the question I had just asked them. Right away my brother responded, “No Lexi, you need to stop listening to what people say or think.” I could tell by the way he said his response, that something was affecting him. At that moment I began to wonder if he would keep something this big of a secret from me. I started becoming very concerned and knew I had to find out if he was telling the truth.
As months went on, it became that time of year where the class of ’09 was graduating. Koby would always talk about how excited he was to leave Georgia and head off to Los Angele, Calfornia. Unfortunately it was one of the saddest goodbyes I’ve had to say. Once he headed off to paradise, we never really kept in good contact with each other. For some odd reason I became blocked on my brothers Facebook and he became a stranger to me. On a school night one of my best friends and I were laying on my bed using my computer. I layed my head on my pillow, when I heard her suddenly gasp. I quickly leaned over her shoulder to see what she was looking at… it was a picture of my brother kissing a boy. I was in disbelief and shock. I suddenly burst out in tears and dialed my brothers number. Before he could even speak I started yelling at him and asking why there was a picture of him kissing a guy. At that moment I knew his secret was released. He paused for a good ten seconds and the only words he spoke were, “im sorry”. I hung up the phone and ran into my parents room and told my mom what I saw. My mom started crying because she was so upset about the way I found out. Unfortanetly, my dad was on a business trip to china so he was unable to find out about what was going on. My mom began to tell me that my brother has always been gay since seventh grade, but I was too young to be told. I was so angry and embarrassed at the time. I was confused as to why my brother was unable to tell me, but then I realized this was why. The way I reacted was unbearing. My family never wanted to see me hurt and they knew this would tear me apart. I’ve never had a problem with gay people. One of my best friends is gay, but when one of my family members is gay it’s completely different. It hurt to know that all those times my brother was upset I wasn’t there to talk to him. When I thought deeply about it I realized the whole time I knew, but I just didn’t want to believe it. Weeks went on where I didn’t keep in contact with my brother. My sister kept trying to persuade me to talk to him but I wasn’t ready at the time. My family didn’t understand that I was informed just a few weeks ago, when they had several years to get over the situation.
Months passed and I started realizing I had to talk to my brother one day, so why not now. I called my brother up on a rainy night and had one of the deepest conversations I have ever had with him. I remember being curled up in my silky sheets just catching up with him on everything. At that very moment I knew he was the happiest he’s been. I finally turned around and accepted him for who he was. Its not his fault for being gay. There have been tests proven that people are born gay, and I believe it. Who would want to be made fun of their whole life? Not a lot of people.
It became Christmas time and my brother flew home from California. When he came home he was a completely different person and I honestly Ioved it. He dressed like a movie star, talked differently, and was much nicer. We both sat down together and had a deep and loving conversation.
I will never forget him telling me about how it would be fun to have a gay brother because he can help me go shopping. As weird as that sounds, it was true. My brother has the best fashion sense and I for sure need help with my outfit decisions. The best part about all of this was that my brother was finally happy and wouldn’t change his life around for the world. I finally became friends with him on facebook and got to see all the pictures taken that I missed out on when I was blocked. People need to realize that nobody is perfect and you have to accept the things you can not change.