Andrew Christian

Abbey Sets The "Gay Bar" in Banning Bachelorette Parties

According to the ABBEY:
OffensiveHeterosexual Tradition Flaunts Marriage Inequality
inthe Face of Gays and Lesbians

The Abbey Food & Bar, is known as the best Gay Bar in the World, having won the title two year’s in a row from Logo, announced today all Bachelorette Parties have been banned from taking place within its doors.“Every Friday and Saturday night, they’re flooded with requests from straight girls in penis hats who want to ogle our gogos, dance with the gays and celebrate their pending nuptials.

They are completely unaware that the people around them are legally prohibited from getting married,” said David Cooley, Founder of The Abbey. “Over the past 22 years, The Abbey has been a place that accepts everyone, gay, straight, lesbian, transgender, bisexual and everything in between. We love our straight girlfriends and they are welcome here, just not for bachelorette parties.”

The Abbey claims it is has long been a policy of theirs to deny admission to groups in costume, including Bachelorette regalia. Bachelorette parties had previously been allowed inside if they removed their costumes. The Abbey’s Bachelorette Ban comes on the heels of a ban on Gay Marriage in North Carolina and a number of other states across the south.

The Abbey is encouraging other gay-owned and operated establishments to institute their own bans as a sign of solidarity until Marriage is legal everywhere for everyone.

x o x o


  1. Goot!! the abbey wuz so detestable for so long when they first sold to SBE. i Love some of the ideas they been implementing, and this one takes the obnoxious penis cake for sure!!

  2. holy shit write down the date! the first both the abbey and this site have done something worthwhile! Good for the abbey!


  4. this is just down-right discriminatory. it's the complete antithesis of what we are trying to do in the gay community in terms of reaching equality..

    it's like telling your boyfriend that because he cheated you get to cheat and you'll be even. it's vindictive, counterproductive and just shows that it's okay to practice prejudice.

    and david cooley needs to cool it, how dare he assume that girls out trying to have a good time do not know what's going on socially? that's ignorant in and of itself.

  5. Good! Keep those girls and straight guys that come to check them out, out of the Abbey...go to Tigerheat for that.

  6. This is awesome. They treat us like zoo animals. They come to our places to look and laugh at us, grope us like we're at a petting zoo, push us out of their way, and act like they're doing us a huge favor by being there. Lesbian clubs don't allow packs of straight men to do that. We shouldn't have to endure it, either.

  7. I'm torn on this issue, I see both sides of it- but I must admit I do like it that this might force some Republican straight girls into moving past "some of my best friends are gay" to "it's time to help my best friends fight for their rights."

  8. Well done David Cooley. Well done.

  9. I love this euphemism of marriage equality lol. Bp's are banned because those tacky obnoxious girls are fucking annoying as hell and the reason I won't go there on weekend nights. I hope this policy lasts forever, prop 8 doesn't have much time left.

  10. This is completely counterproductive.

    The best way to show the straight community about their flaws is to show them that we WILL NOT be like them in instituting intolerance into our establishments. Show them that equality should be across the board, and that we will let them into our community with open arms.

    If anything, what David Cooley SHOULD HAVE done is to make every single bachelorette party member sign a written pledge of support towards marriage equality, and post the pledges on an EQUALITY WALL somewhere inside the Abbey from "Straight Allies/LGBT Friends." A written pledge from bachelorettes with their pictures would've been GREAT. An extra surcharge which would have gone to the Human Rights Campaign or any other charitable organization would have also been a good idea to implement for ANY bachelorette party inside the establishment.

    In the end, if any bachelorette party was not comfortable or didn't want to be a part of this so-called pledge could've been turned away.

    We should always find new innovative ways to bring Straight Allies into the fold instead of denying them the privilege of being in our company.


  11. Oh please.. It's rich watching Abbey try to reverse course after their experiment a few years back of making the bar more straight. Cheap publicity.

    However, I have NO PROBLEM with them banning bachelorette parties. There's nothing worse than a bunch of screaming, obnoxious, low tipping drunk girls ruining a good time. I'd also like to see ban on fag hags and fruit flies in general.

    Also, I love how the poster above had to take another stab at Republicans. Please.. it's not Republicans that are responsible for the failure of the gay agenda - it's stray Democrats (ahem Prop 8) that vote against.

  12. I thought we were the ones laughing at Them with their penis hats and Grinding on gay men. I always feel bad thinking this is the life you will be allowed to live with you r dominant husband, a life of trips to fiesta cantina and brunches at the abbey. Poor you!

  13. Let's see... lesbian clubs barely let men in at all, usually requiring each man to be escorted by a woman. Straight clubs enforce a ratio. Some straight clubs barely admit men unless they know they'll spend big. Many straight clubs don't let gay men in because they know they won't spend big on women. But we gays are expected to endure anything that comes to our clubs. Herds of women, violent straight men hitting on them, straight married swingers looking for fantasy orgies, socially defective gay men bringing all their fag hags to keep from having to make eye contact with other gay men, closeted weirdos pretending they're with their girlfriend, and every other type of person who's not a typical gay man looking to hang out in one of the only places where he can hang out with other gay men. No straight or lesbian club operates that way. I think most of us are sick of it. If the Abbey let the gays in and kept the women and straight parties bottled up in a line past the park, it would put its competition out of business.

  14. "I love how the poster above had to take another stab at Republicans. Please.. it's not Republicans that are responsible for the failure of the gay agenda - it's stray Democrats (ahem Prop 8) that vote against."

    Dumbest and most hypocritical comment of all time. Democrats aren't trying to put gay hate into the Constitution by amendment. That's Mitt Romney and the Republicans. Some "stray" Democrats vote against gay rights. ALL Republicans do.

    Nice try, though.

  15. Hear, here 2:38pmMay 24, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    Exactly! There is nothing wrong with setting precedent and protocol. Like some places with dress codes. even fiesta cantina won't let you in with any sports team attire on (its annoying but ive grown to be ok with it, it helps curtail the ghetto element that floods our city on the weekends. Gay clubs let in obnoxious, abusive and sometimes violent and homophobic straight people all the time. including abbey. we have to look at the straight bartenders swallow some random girl's face whole when they're on their breaks (imagine two guys doing that at one of the douchey Hollywood clubs!), it's ok to draw the line somewhere. bachelorette party members are notoriously drunk and not fun drunk but beyond sloppy, rude, inappropriate (touching dancers like they're their male hookers for the night-- seeing as to what women go thru, they should know better), extremely obnoxious and sometimes angry and confrontational, as well as being notoriously shitty tippers too. business owners should look out for their employees too.

  16. I think the bar should use this as an opportunity to educate their patrons on the issue.

    Not only should they allow the parties, but they should encourage them, and they should bust their asses to make sure the girls have a good time. But make sure that before and after the party, the patrons are reminded: "Hey, you know all these people who just worked so hard to give you girls one of the best nights of your lives in celebration of the joyous occasion of your marriage? Well, they aren't allowed to have that same joy in most places in this country."

    Outright banning the parties kind of puts the gay community in the shoes of being the "bad guy" and "party-poopers" and just as bigoted as the homophobes.

    Basically, they should be saying: "We want you to be able to have the best bachelorette party possible, and we hope you success in your marriage. We hope that you'll return the favor."

  17. I am with SBE, ABBEY & David.

    If you don't like it too bad.

    A a line needed to be drawn in the sand & apparely 774 people have agreed by sharing this on FB in the last 3 hours.

    We ruin one night .... not much compared to our entire life!

    Fuck off and find another blog & another bar if you don't like it!

    xo xo

  18. Great example set by The Abbey! I hope other gay establishments take notice and follow suit.

  19. "Dumbest and most hypocritical comment of all time. Democrats aren't trying to put gay hate into the Constitution by amendment. That's Mitt Romney and the Republicans. Some "stray" Democrats vote against gay rights. ALL Republicans do."

    You just proved my point. If you think "ALL Republicans do [vote against gay rights]" why the hell do we waste our time even worrying about it.

    There are large contingents of the Democrat party (blue collar working class and minorities) that are still against gay marriage. Wouldn't it be a better to expend our efforts to try to change their minds?

    Everytime it's gone to the ballot box, gay marriage is voted down - even in Democratic leaning states.

    Democratic members of state legislatures routinely vote against gay marriage.

    Up until recently, the President was opposed. Now he's evolved... evolved to the position of saying it's a state rights issue.. which pretty much means he supports North Carolina and all the other states with anti-gay marriage legislation. Hmm - guess it's OK to vote on rights?

    But hey.. don't want to face those facts and go after the anti-equality members of our party. It's far much easier to continue to be a cry baby victim, blame the mean nasty Republicans when we're being sabotaged by members of our own party.

  20. ‎"An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." - Mahatma Gandhi
    GLBT community complains of HOMOPHOBIA and then when the walls start coming down, the GLBT community complains that heterosexuals are embracing our community. UTTERLY RIDICULOUS! California was split almost in half for marriage equality. We need to educate and preach tolerance and equality.

  21. 2:38 Pm... i coudltn have said it better.

    abbey... great job. I was avoiding abbey on weekends because of this crap. also stop hiring straight "model" bartenders. they give free drinks to the girls and give the gays cold attitude. in every straight bar in town guys are treated like shit while girls get freebies. so why does this happen in our bars?

    there are plenty of very attractive and friednly gay men who can bartend. see revolver, eleven, fiesta, etc... gay bars should hire gay men who treat customers with respect, not straight..there are 99% of other bars for that

  22. the bars in Chicago implemented this policy right after Prop 8. It's nice to see WeHo finally following suit. Maybe Abbey is finally trying to get the gays back.

  23. This just doesn't sit well with me.
    An eye for an eye?
    The gays are better than this.
    The women that are having these parties obviously love gay people.
    This is really a stupid idea.

  24. Can the Abbey PLEASE BAN ALL WOMEN ? ! ? ! ? ! ? ! ?

    Take it to the lesbo bar up the street. I HATE women in any gay bar, gay or straight! Esp on drag show nights. Yuk, such a buzz kill! Gays leave your fucking fag fruit flies at home. Most gay men cringe at the sight of any vagina in our bars. There's also some females working at The Abbey now, YUK!!!! Go work somewhere else!

    BAN ALL WOMEN!!!!!

  25. Nice STUNT, but it took the Abbey this long to figure out we didn't have rights? Shame on the Abbey for using this issue to sell more martinis.

  26. In response to "it's like telling your boyfriend that because he cheated you get to cheat and you'll be even."

    It's more like telling him he can't cheat because it would be illegal for you to...

  27. "But hey.. don't want to face those facts and go after the anti-equality members of our party. It's far much easier to continue to be a cry baby victim, blame the mean nasty Republicans when we're being sabotaged by members of our own party."

    Oh please. You can try to convince people the sky is red all you want, but the fact remains that by and large large swaths of Democrats support the freedom and equality of gays and large swaths of Republicans do not. President Obama supports gay marriage. Mitt Romney wants to amend the Constitution ban it. That is the simple, irrefutable truth.

    To ignore that and try to twist it so that Democrats are the anti-gay party, while saying nothing about the open homophobia of the Republicans, is the height of mendacity and it isn't fooling anybody.

    Take your lame, transparent, unconvincing right-wing talking points and shove em. Those who believe in freedom and equality are trying to change all minds. And despite your foolish protestations otherwise, they are infinitely more minds to be changed within the Republican Party than in the Democratic Party -- starting with their anti-gay bully candidate Mitt "Scissorhands" Romney.

  28. What is that anti-Democrat guy babbling about?

    Every time gay marriage has been voted down, most of those votes have come from Republicans. Obama opposed the NC marriage ban, Mitt Romney supported it. Some Democratic state house members continually vote against marriage equality? So what? What are their Republican counterparts doing? Marching in gay pride parades??? MANY Democratic politicians vote for marriage equality. Many MORE Republican politicians oppose marriage equality. I dare anyone who state otherwise.

    Anybody who seriously tries to make the argument that Democrats are worse on gay rights than Republicans is a right-wing hack.

  29. had a good article on etiquette for straight people at gay bars. It mentions more than just bachelorette parties, and I've shared it with my straight friends.
    Personally, I support this decision. Whatever the motive, I think it works. If I'm ever in the area, that's where I'll go.
    I'll be encouraging the Milwaukee bars I frequent to follow this. Oh, and Happy IML everyone!

  30. Why are we getting all political...we're talking about a freaking bar here.....

    Ban all girls from gay bars!

  31. Hey straight women - Why not go into a lesbian bar, ogle their dancers, feel them up, flirt with female bartenders, grab female customers' crotches without asking, and spend the night with one of them? What? You don't like women? Wow! Neither do we! Not get the F* out!

  32. Lets really raise the "bar" abbey please ban all women, republicans, drunks and sportswear, sunglasses and minorities from the abbey. Only admit under 40 yo, 9 to 5 white people unless that are activists and or have an opinion. Gym memberships must be shown at the door and be equinox or higher.
    I know everything.

  33. This is not "discriminatory". Discrimination would be not allowing women or straight men at all (though a lot of ppl seem in favor of that! ha) As several people pointed out, all the fucking straight clubs have their own policies. That's why i stopped going to them when i turned like 22. was tired of being judged and made to wait for ever just bc you're young and new to town and the door ppl assume therefore you're poor and cheap, tired of agressive bouncers screaming in our faces "we're not letting any more guys in!!" at 1130 pm on a wednesday. i remember going to Drais at the height of its popularity with a gay friend whos a club promoter and had to listen to the allegedly-straight, pretty boy "model" at the door reluctantly let us in and tell him "next time, bring a bunch of hot girls, don't just bring your little boyfriend". fuck that. Abbey can have its own standards just like those overrated places, and i hope other places follow suit.

  34. Thank god... the Abbey is simply blazing a trail of common sense. I agree with the previous posts as I too am tired of being ogled, groped, stomped on, pushed, asked why I'm gay, and told that some hot chick can "change" me.
    The only thing I would do differently is just be honest. This has almost nothing to do with marriage equality and everything to do with removing offensive patrons.

  35. Wow, way to fight discrimination, faggots.

  36. Now if only there was a weigh limit...

  37. Good for them! All gay clubs should do this. I'm female and I only go to gay man bars when my gay boyfriends take me. I would never do the batchelorette party thing at a gay club.

  38. the SALOON in minneapolis has had this policy in effect for sometime......interesting that california has the same problems as the upper well here in minnesota as long as we don't get nasty.....surprisingly most of the bachlorettes that are refused entry actually get it...

  39. "We ruin one night .... not much compared to our entire life!"


  40. girls in small numbers at gay bars are fine. packs of girls at ANY bar, gay or straight, are ANNOYING as fuck. in their own unique way. just like a gaggle of cunty gays is annoying, and an army of douchebag straight guys (although you almost NEVER see that at any bar or club) is annoying in its own unique way. i dont get why some ppl are saying its discrimination, it is NOT...what law book are you reading from??? it's not like the abbey is BANNING women, or lesbian women, or straight men, it's barring BACHELORETTE PARTIES...WHOOOO out there is truly upset about bachelorette parties being prohibited from taking place at the abbey?

  41. I agree with someone above who said that these women treat gay guys as 'pets'. They think they can go in a gay bar and whisper to each other, "He's so fine...what a waste!"

    If they're going to treat us like we are a 'waste' of men, then F*CK them!!!!


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